The Dueling Flickr Feeds Of Barack Obama And Mitt Romney – The Awl

TheDuelingFlickrFeedsOfBarackObamaAndMitt?

Romney

byAnaMarieCoxAndJason?

Linkins

TheAnnotatedWhiteHouseFlickrFeedreturnswithaspecialElection2012edition。

HereareTheGuardian’sAnaMarieCoxandHuffingtonPostpoliticalreporterJasonLinkinstoexplainthepoliticsbehindthepictures。

Howmuchtimedoes“examinesomecorn”takeupinthePresident’sdailyschedule?

WhatscarystoryisBillClintonabouttotell?

Whoenjoysposingforpicturesmore:JoeBidenorBo?

AndhowdoestheWhiteHouse’sphotostreamcomparewithMittRomney’s?

AnaMarie:So,whilewewereaway,PeteSouzagotawholenewtrope,it?

seems。

Jason:REFLECTIONS。

AnaMarie:Yep!

Ialreadyfoundsome?

more。

AnaMarie:DoyounoticehowperfectlynormalitfeelsthatTimGeithnerhasanextraheadgrowingoutofhis?

hand?

Jason:Ilikethisone,becauseTimGeithnerisasupside-downassomanyAmericansarewiththeirhome?

loans。

AnaMarie:IguessyouputtwoNobelPeacePrizewinnersinthesameroomanditcangetawkward。

“Hey,let’sallpetthedog。

Don’tmakethis?

weird。



Jason:Wow。

ImaginehowweirditwouldbeiftheyinvitedtheentireEUtohangout,too。

OrKissinger?

AnaMarie:ThedogwouldjustbarkandhowlatKissinger,sensingthepresenceof?

evil。

AnaMarie:Well,thatisjusttoocutefor?

words。

Jason:Adorable。

AnaMarie:Iamdefeated。

Maybeleavethecaptionblank?

Orjust[INSERTQUIPABOUTANOTHERPORTRAITOFLINCOLN。

]

Jason:Ourworkisdone?

here。

AnaMarie:Nowsheisjustshowingoff。

Also:Iamalittlescared?

now?

Jason:TheonlyforearminDCthat’sbettersculptedthanFLOTUS’is“TheAwakening。



AnaMarie:I’mthinkingthatsheshouldactuallyfightcrimeorsomething。

ForgetFirstLady?

—?

STOPBAD?

GUYS。

Jason:Well,dependingonhowthingsturn?

out…

AnaMarie:So,thisraisesaninterestingquestion。

Howdoyoutellyourboss,thePresident,thatheisSERIOUSLYallupinyourpersonalspace?

“No,I’mfine,sir…justletmedrawmylegsupclosertomyhuddledform?

here…”

Jason:I’msureshewaslike,“Oh,yes。

Definitelytakethispicture,Pete?

Souza。



AnaMarie:“Yes,thisistheonemyparentswillwantto?

frame。



AnaMarie:Yep。

Here’sthepresident。

Holdingsome?

corn。

Jason:IguessinIowa,thisiswhatyoudoinsteadofholdingbabies?

(Unlessthosebabiesmakeethanol!

)

AnaMarie:“Examinesomecorn,”isprobablynotoneofthosethingsthatappearonthepresident’sdailyschedule。

Butitislikeholdingababy。

Youhavetofeigninterestinasimilar?

way。

Jason:“Oh,hey。

Letmeholdthatfor?

you。



AnaMarie:“Yup。

Corn。

That’swhatwehave?

here。



Jason:“I’mgonnawanttorememberthatdayIheldsomecorn,forsome?

reason。



Jason:Lookingatthis,it’shardtobelievethatMichaelLewiswasdeemedtobenotgoodenoughtostartinthePresidentialpick-up?

game。

AnaMarie:Don’tshowTHATpictoJay-Z。

Oranyone?

really。

Jason:I’msurehewaslike,“Definitelytakethispicture,Pete?

Souza。



AnaMarie:PeteSouzadoingtheframe?

thing。

Jason:REMEMBERALLOFOUROLDJOKESABOUTPETESOUZAFRAMINGSTUFF,BECAUSEIFYOUDO,THISISFUNNY?

OKAY?

AnaMarie:AWKWARDCLASS?

PHOTO

AnaMarie:ItlookslikeBillClintonisabouttogotellascarystory。

(Which,cometothinkofit,ishisroleinthecampaign。

)

Jason:PeteSouza’scamerawantstofuckBillClintonsohard,youcan?

tell。

AnaMarie:Well,likemostof?

us。

AnaMarie:IlikethisbecauseLeBronlookslegitimatelypsyched。

Jason:Michelleisprobablywhisperinginhisear,“Thisbetternotcostus?

Ohio。



AnaMarie:THISISTHEPRESIDENT’SDOG,NOTONTOPOFACAR。

#neverforget

Jason:Youarewithusinourhearts?

Seamus!

AnaMarie:Thecaptionisespeciallynice,though:“Bo,theObamafamilydog,posesforaphoto。

”I’mwillingtobetBodoesnotknowheisposingfora?

photo。

Jason:TheWarHorseneverknewhewasinamovieaboutaWar?

Horse。

AnaMarie:ToMaru,therestoftheworldisaboxheistryingtoescape?

from。

Jason:Rafalcadoesn’tknowthatotherhorsesdon’tallspendtheirlivesbeingtorturedintoperformingballet。

AnaMarie:Bidenthinkseveryoneisvicepresident。

AnaMarie:NOSERIOUSLY,GUYS,HEISTOTALLYONTHEPHONEWITHBIBINETANYAHU,TRUST?

US。

Jason:PeteSouzaistrollingtheWashingtonFreeBeaconlikea?

boss!

AnaMarie:Itisimpossiblethatachildhasdoneanythingtodeservethat?

haircut。

Jason:YOUAREMYONLYFRIENDNOW?

BABY。

AnaMarie:BABYISUNAWAREOFLIBYANFUCK?

UP。

AnaMarie:“Okay,whohadmalarkeyinthedrinking?

game?



Jason:Thebigdisappointmentisthathe’swatching?

CNN。

AnaMarie:Yeah,WTF,don’ttheygetAlJazeeraonAirForceOne?

Atleasthehasthattotallyluxurious,padded,remotecontrolforhis?

teevee。

Jason:Oh,yeah,whatis?

that?

Ithastobepainfultowatchthosedialratings。

“OMG,Bideniscrushingit,butI’venoideawhy!

Wait,nowhe’snotcrushingit?

WHATAMISUPPOSEDTOGLEANFROM?

THIS?



AnaMarie:No,Iamwillingtobetthattheygiveaboutzerofuckstothedialtest。

Thatisnottheexpressionofsomeonefollowingthedialtest。

That’stheexpressionofsomeonewhoknowstheyfuckedupinBenghaziandisjusthopingthetopicdoesn’tcomeup?

again。

Jason:LOL,it’sgonna。

Maybethisistheoneofthelasttimeswe’lldotheObamaWhiteHouseFlickrFeed?

Thinkabout?

that。

AnaMarie:Really?

I’mnottotally?

sure。

Jason:Maybeweshouldseeifwe’reanygoodatannotatingtheRomneyFlickrfeed?

AnaMarie?

Okay…

AnaMarie:Thesemioticsofhow“Don’tbillme,bro”madeitontoaRomneycampaignsigncouldkeepaBrownundergradbusyfor?

years。

Jason:IthinkthattheRomney/RyancampaignshouldmakePeterBerghappyandjuststartusing“IHATEMYPARENTS’BASEMENT”insteadof“CLEAREYESFULLHEARTSCAN’T?

LOSE。



AnaMarie:Thisphotostreamisjustadorableinitsabsolutejuniorvarsityness。

Idon’teventhinkthisphotoisactuallyinfocus。

(INSERTROMNEYPOLICYPOSITIONJOKE?

HERE。

)

Jason:“You’regonnamissmewhenI’mgone,youfucks!

”?

—?

emailwejustreceivedfromPete?

Souza

AnaMarie:lkdsjfklds

Jason:Isthatsupposedtobeasentence?

“WeloveRomney,forwomen,Romney/Ryan!



AnaMarie:Andthis,Ithink,isexactlywhatyouthoughtastudentsforRomneygroupshotwouldlooklike。

GoingtogoplayflipcupatSe?

orFrog’srightafter?

this。

Jason:Thissentenceis,“Romney/Ryan2012:wecan’taffordit。

”Giventhestateoftheirstudentloans,theyprobably?

can’t。

AnaMarie:Ithinkeverysingleoneofthesepeoplebeatmeupinhigh?

school。

Jason:AtleastthesekidswilldestroyThought?

Catalog。

AnaMarie:DaneCookforRomney,everyone。

YEAHTHATGUY,WANNABELIKEHIM。

Lastseenputtingaroofieinyour?

drink。

Jason:Infairness,itlookslikehealsoroofiedhisown?

drink。

AnaMarie:OMG,heretheyare?

again!

Jason:Nooneisactuallyonthephonewithavoter?

here。

AnaMarie:No,theyareallcallingfriends。

“YO,IAMGONNATOTALLYBEONTHEINTERNET。



AnaMarie:Badnewsandgoodnews。

Thebadnews:thisisastillfromthatdog’shostage?

video。

Jason:What’sthegood?

news?

AnaMarie:Well,itseemsweseamlesslymadeittoaRomneyFlickrcommentary。

Jason:Insertreminderoffairuseforsatire。

Butyes,MittRomney,congrats,youhavecreatedyourfirst?

job!

AnaMarie:Ofcourse,wedon’tgetpaid。

Ontheplusside,Choireisnotlookingforanythirteen-year-oldChinesekidstodo?

this。

Jason:Don’tgivehimanyideas。

SomeofthoseChinesekidswerejustTHEWORSTwithcomplaintsabouthowwetotallystoppeddoingthisfortwo?

years。

AnaMarie:Seriously,though,theRomneyfeedisarichveinofpicturesforthatpossible?

future。

Jason:Andifyouwantapictureofthatfuture,TheAwlreaders,justimagineChoireSichagoing“aksdfjkafdgjadljasdfjklsd!

”inyourface?